This holiday season, give your parent or spouse the gift of security by having them start thinking about long-term care planning. To ensure they get the best care possible down the road, they should begin planning today, while more options are available to them.
It’s also crucial for families to note any signs indicating that older adults may have immediate long-term care needs. A great time to watch for any red flags is when family members visit for the holidays. There’s no better time to address these concerns to a family member than over the holiday.
If warning signs do indicate they may need care, it’s important to start looking into long-term care options. Children and spouses of elders are often reluctant to bring up this discussion for fear of rejection. These conversations can be among life’s most difficult ones, much like talking to the kids about drugs, or having the Birds and the Bees talk, but similarly they are essential talks. There are certain ways to make this tough conversation easier to initiate and more effective.
Fortunately, there are some tips for addressing long-term care concerns to an elderly family member. Even if they refuse to discuss it, it’s important to let them know that they need to start thinking about their long-term care options.
How to Discuss Long-Term Care
It is more effective to bring up this discussion face-to-face, if possible. Also, try to include other family members in this discussion, especially siblings or a spouse, to show that others share your concerns about long-term care. Since families get together over the holidays, this may be the best time to get other loved ones directly involved in this conversation.
“This is your job. Talk with your parents. Talk with your spouse,” said Virginia Morris, author of How to Care for Aging Parents. “Delve into this with a sibling, a friend or perhaps a beloved aunt or uncle. The more we communicate, the more we learn. The only regrets are the conversations we didn’t have, the opportunities we missed.”
Regarding the discussion itself, there are some tips to help it go more smoothly. First, be honest and explain the purpose of the discussion. If aging loved ones don’t immediately reject the topic, then move on to discussing care options. It’s important to not only use good communication skills, but also to provide the necessary information about long-term care.
It may be easy to list off the benefits of long-term care. However, it is vital to remember that elders want to have some control over their own lives. This is important to consider if the loved one is no longer capable of living unassisted. Everyone wants to retain some independence, which is why many people feel uncomfortable when their adult children try to “parent” them.
If the family member absolutely refuses to look into long-term care, it might be time to reevaluate the plan and try a different approach. If they keep refusing to discuss it, it’s important to be persistent and treat them with respect at all times. Even if they are completely uncooperative, it’s necessary to be respectful and show that you care about their health and well-being.
Another avenue to opening these dialogues is to involve the parent’s financial adviser. In a recent survey, the majority of both parents and their adult children said they felt more comfortable talking about their bottom line in the presence of an adviser. A good adviser can help keep the conversations focused on the hard facts, and keep emotion from creeping into decisions.
Going out of the way to accommodate visiting family members during the holidays is a great way to not only show that they are cared for, but also may be helpful in making the long-term care discussion easier to bring up. Besides accommodating any physical challenges they may have, be mindful that aging loved ones are included and engaged in all holiday festivities. They may feel left out of conversations about current pop culture, social networking and new technologies, even though these are common conversation topics among younger family members. To avoid this blunder, ask questions about their youth or invite them to talk through an old photo album. Getting elderly family members more involved in holiday activities may help them open up to discussing long-term care.
Why Plan Now?
There are many reasons why it’s so important to think about long-term care as soon as possible. Around 70 percent of people over the age of 65 will require some sort of long-term care, and it’s often best to purchase long-term care insurance before age 60.
Long-term care insurance protects income, allows consumers to have control over the care they receive and preserves independence for as long as possible. Most importantly, this type of coverage ensures that high quality care is received when needed. Policyholders are also less likely to need financial aid from family members. For these reasons, many find long-term care insurance more reliable than Social Security, Medicaid or Medicare.
The time-consuming duty of caring for a loved one often falls on children or an aging spouse. However, being a caregiver for a loved one often increases stress levels, decreases household income and limits career opportunities. In fact, a Beyond Dollars survey found that 57 percent of primary caregivers had to take money out of their own retirement fund and savings while 48 percent lost a job or had to change shifts.
Long-term care insurance can help make sure family caregivers are reimbursed for their time off work to help elderly family members. It also provides the necessary assistive devices, caregiver training and other services that make providing care more manageable.
Buying a long-term care policy early ensures that costly care down the road will be covered. Full-time home care can cost around $120,000 a year. Without a long-term care policy, this type of care is out of reach for most Americans. Long-term care coverage is an affordable way to receive top-notch care when it is needed most.
Considering all the benefits of long-term care insurance, the time to start thinking about long-term care planning is now. The upcoming holiday season offers a great opportunity to take on this tough discussion. Meanwhile, it may also be the time to start thinking about your own long-term care options, as it’s never too early to invest in a policy. This holiday season, talk about getting you and your loved ones the security needed to live a rich, fulfilling life well after retirement.
